Notes:
I wrote this in a frenzy of self-hatred syndrome (i.e. I HATE myself), insomnia, massive headache, severe running nose (caused me difficulties in breathing properly), distorted hearing, and the analgesics just made everything worse. Such a happy way to spend Hyde’s birthday… T_T
Anyways… The first part is not actually a fic. It’s based on some ‘conversation’ I had with some of my friends through text messages (words in other than white are the text messages, each color represents different people). The second part though, is purely fictional. I don’t own the characters (but of course I do own myself, everyone else belongs to themselves). I just own the crazy idea, that’s all.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAIDO-SAMA!!!!!!
A GIFT FOR HYDE
~Part one~
Saturday, January 29, 2005
00:01 a.m.
I was about to type a message on my cell phone when it suddenly hummed to live. The tones of Shinshoku (the ‘I died then my instinct was born’ part) rang softly signaling a text message was coming in. I quickly browsed through my inbox, finding the name of the sender. Yae.
Happy birthday to Haido-sama!! :D I want snack … Hyde, give me your birthday cake!!
Darn! She ‘d got ahead of me!!
Grinning, I typed down the reply and sent it hastily,
Hyde can’t be disturbed right now. He’s ‘enjoying’ his birthday present I gave him.
Waiting for her answer, I typed a new message and sent it to almost everyone in my phonebook,
OTANJOUBI OMEDETOU TO MY LOVELY, DEAREST, HANDSOME, ALL-THE-BEST-YOU-NAME-IT HYDE DARLING!! *smooch smooch* May Haido-sama be forever youthful and at least try to quit smoking! T_T
Just as my message sent out, another one was coming in. It was Yae again.
Isn’t he _puking_ just by seeing your present…?
I smiled mischievously,
But you don’t know _what_ the present is!
He’ll puke with _anything_ you give him--- WAAA!! NO!! DON’T HIT ME~!!
*Slashes Yae with a whip to quiet her down then gives the whip back to Hyde* Sorry about that, now please enjoy your present, Haido-sama… *Sits back on the couch to watch the… show* (if you know what I mean) ;)
No, I don’t know what you mean. But… seems like you gave him “someone” whom he can play S/M with…
Yep, that’s right! XD And I get to watch! <3 <3 <3
But the question is… WHO??
Huh, like I’d ever let him do it with anyone else…
Tetsu… -_-;; But like you had the power to do that to Tetsu…
Oh like he wouldn’t willingly do it himself… (Well in my mind at least ^^; weird things gets into your head when you can’t sleep in the middle of the night :p)
You really have poisoned my mind with that S/M image now… :p Well, better go to sleep, dream about it, and most of all keep my credit balance safe :p Oyasumi.
Hehe… I think I’ll do just the same! Oyasumi.
Oh wait, there was still more! Remember the other message I’d sent out to almost everyone in my phonebook? I’d been expecting a sour-but-hey-it’s-funny reply from one particular person… And there it was. From the Killer Crew herself: Trezia.
Waaa… Noo… Heeelp… Tasukete… *runs away from freaking Hydeists* Masa, Gackt, Yureni, Niyuto, let’s escape to Aceh!! T_T
Haha! Sorry Trez, I just HAD to send it to you too! XD
Uugh… I’m really hungry *is listening to Fragrance* Well, happy birthday to the birthday boy.
At least you could say his _name_ :p And go find something to eat if you’re hungry!
*sings Happy Birthday to H***….*
Well yea… that’s close enough ^^;; arigatou ß says HYDE
Now that was fun! Of course, it’d always been fun teasing that Hyde-phobic girl. Just had to be careful though… She could be really mean!! (And that’s a compliment, really! No offense, ne? ^^)
With that I settled down in my bed and drifted to sleep…
~Part two~
Meanwhile… Someplace, somewhere…
Hyde confusedly took the whip given to him, cautiously uttering an unsure and questioning ‘thank you’. He looked at the whip thoughtfully and glanced down at himself. “Ano… why am I wearing this um… outfit??” he asked to his empty surroundings, referring to his 8-inches-high-heels boots (whee! Watch your step ne, Haido-sama!) and short black leather pants (and nothing else attached to his body besides those! :D~~).
“Oooh… It’s part of the gift, Haido-sama!” a sly Voice answered out of nowhere, “Now go ahead and get your present! It’s behind that door….”
Doing as he was told, Hyde carefully walked (hey, you _ought_ to be careful while wearing such shoes, right? :p) towards the door in front of him and he opened it….
Stepping forward, Hyde found himself in a large room. It was like a hotel room of some sort, with furniture and everything, but it was dark, and gloomy, and eerie and… What’s that on the bed??
In that dimly lit room, Hyde leaned forward to inspect the form lying on the bed. He was shocked when he realized what (who) it was: a totally nekkid Tetsu (ooops… sorry!), hands and feet bound securely with sparkling blue ribbons!! :D~~
“Wheee…!!! Enjoy your present, Haido-sama!!” The formless Voice was heard again, laughing impishly.
Hyde’s mouth gaped wide; he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “Te… Tetchan? Is that you??”
“Um… Hi, Haido. Ano… tanjoubi omedetou…” The bound man replied awkwardly.
“What the HELL are you doing here like… like… THIS!??” Hyde threw the whip he’d been holding onto the floor. He released Tetsu’s hands and feet quickly.
“I… don’t know. Looks like some freaking yaoi-fic-author fangirl is trying to serve me as your birthday present…” Tetsu sighed happily as his limbs were freed.
“Damn well you are, Tetsu-kun!” The annoying Voice said. “And why are you letting him go Haido-sama… you’re supposed to *ahem* play with him…” This time it sounded like begging.
“No way am I going to molest my band mate in a freaking fic!” Hyde retorted.
“Oh… not in a fic…”
“Neither in the real life, you hentai girl!!”
“Yeah right… and what’s with those fanservice…”
“Those are just for on-stage performance, baka!” Hyde threw his hands in despair, yelling to the invisible being.
“Ano…” Tetsu, who’d been silent along the argument, poked Hyde’s arm, “can you find me something to wear?” He blushed, fidgeting nervously to hide his um… nudity.
“Right.” Hyde sauntered to the bathroom, grabbing two bathrobes from the counter. “Here, wear this.” He gave one to Tetsu, and wore the other one himself. “And before I trip over and knock my head out and break my bones or worse lose my life…” Hyde bent over to take those sickly-high-heeled boots off. “I don’t understand how you can bear with any of these, Tetchan… You and your platforms really scare me sometimes….” He mused quietly, discarding the now useless shoes to one corner of the room.
“Hey guys… Does this mean I don’t get anything to watch??” The Voice spoke again, sounded disappointed.
“You may watch us leave! C’mon Tetchan!” Hyde pulled Tetsu out of the bed and dragged him to the door.
“Um…” Tetsu let himself being hauled outside.
And so this fic author did what Hyde’d said; she sadly watched them leave… But before she finally lost sight of them, she heard something that cheered her heart…
“TETSU!! What do you think you’re doing!! Why did you bring that whip with you??”
Wheeee!!!!
Bwahahahahahahahahahah!!!! Phew… finally done!! XD
I wanted to dedicate this fic to Hyde for his birthday, but decided I didn’t have the heart to do it; this fic is so lousy!! >_<
So, I dedicate this to Yae. Without her, I wouldn’t be thinking of Hyde’s ‘present’. Also to Trezia, who hasn’t killed me already for always teasing her when I know she doesn’t like Hyde. I apologize to them both for not asking their permission to install the text messages in this fic.
I don’t mean to offend anyone by writing this fic. I’m just a pathetic, slightly(?) perverted, insane, HydeXTetsu fangirl who tends to produce silly, pointless, crappy fics whenever bad mood hits. If you have anything to say please do so by sending me e-mail. Flames are welcomed too, since I’ve never received any… ^^”
Thanks for reading this nonsense (and sorry for wasting your time :p).
Saturday, January 29, 2005.
05:27a.m.
Luv,
H’d
<hyddicted@yahoo.com>
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAIDO-SAMA!!!!!!
may you quit smoking this year... hahaha!
